Name: Facing the truth

Author: Michael James Allen

Characters

David Beckham:  David is a famous footballer and is married to Victoria Beckham from the ‘Spice Girls.’  He has three sons and currently plays football for LA Galaxies. 

Jeff:  Jeff is a university professor and history is his speciality; although he dabbles in linguistics.  He is around sixty and suffers from claustrophobia.  He has never been married.

Unidentified voice:  Is a MacGuffin.  E.g. to keep the story rolling at the end

The scene is in the National Gallery in central London; the museum in Trafalgar Square.  All of the set is played out in one room.

Jeff is inspecting a piece of work by Picasso and David Beckham walks into the room.  Jeff looks at David and looks like someone trying to match someone he’s seen with a face that he recalls from the past.

Jeff:  You look familiar

David:  Yeah; I get that a lot

Jeff: Have I seen you before?

David:  Maybe; I did play for Manchester United

Jeff:  Oh so you are the great David Beckham.  But, I never thought you would like art!

David:  Why would you say that?

Jeff:  You never appeared to show any interest in anything other than your obsession for football and your love for your family.

David:  Well, looks can be deceiving, can’t they?

Jeff:  They certainly can. (starts to laugh)

David:  Why are you laughing?

Jeff:  You’ll have to excuse an old man.  I had preconceptions about you and you have shown me the light.

David:  The light?  What are you talking about?

Jeff: I always thought that you were stupid and not capable of thinking beyond the tiny reflection of yourself that is displayed on the television.

David:  You should know that television programs only display a person the way they want them to appear.

Jeff:  You’re right.  Why have I been such a foolish man?  Maybe I’ve been wrong about other things.

David:  Other things?  What are you talking about?

Jeff:  I work at a prestigious University but my heart is no longer in it.

David:  Why would that be?

Jeff:  Every year we get a new group of students, but I feel like I’m talking to a wall.

David:  Why do you think that?

Jeff:  They’re stupid!  They’re all stupid.

David:  Stupid?  Compared to who?

Jeff:  They all dress alike, they all seemed to think alike, it’s really makes me angry!

David:  Why do you let them get to you so?

Jeff:  Because I know that they capable of so much more; that is why I get so angry.

David:  Have you ever thought that they might be a product of their environment?

Jeff:  Yes!  I just wish they could display a sense in individuality and not just follow the crowd.

David: Are you talking about the girls or the boys?

Jeff:  both!

Jeff:  Both boys and girls seem to follow a dress code, they act the same.

David: But, didn’t you act like them?

Jeff:  (said forcefully)  NO!  I was an individual.  I chose my own path and that is why I am the best at what I do in this country.

David:  How do you know that some of these so-called stupid students won’t do the same?

Jeff:  Because I have seen the likes of them many times before.

David:  What do you mean?

Jeff:  They starve themselves to an inch of their lives and then wear the tightest clothes that make them look fat.

Jeff:  They look at mobile phones as if they’re trying to get inspiration from the thing.

David:  You know that the young are naïve and are learning to experience life themselves, don’t you?

Jeff:  Yes I know that!  But that doesn’t change that fact that they lack that individual touch.

David:  You’re dealing with children who are still growing physically and mentally.

Jeff:  I know that, but it really grates at me the way they just act like clones.  Why can’t more of them be individuals?

David:  Don’t tell me that the young of your generation didn’t act differently, because we both know that would be a lie, wouldn’t it?

Jeff:  You’re right, I guess.  I just wish things could have turned out better for them.

David:  What do you mean?

Jeff:  I didn’t get into the profession of teaching just to give them the educational tools of life.

David:  Why did you get involved in this profession?

Jeff:  I became a teacher to teach.

David:  Well, that obvious!

Jeff:  I wanted to change the world!  I wanted to give the young the experiences of life!  But now, all I do is talk about ancient civilisations that haven’t existed for over a generation.

David:  That’s a good thing right?  If we don’t look at the past, we will make the same mistake again.

Jeff looks at David in amazement

Jeff:  you… are… right…

Jeff:  I must say that I never thought that I would hear such deep incite into how the world worked from you.  You actually amaze me.

David smiles

David:  I get that a lot

Jeff:  You do?

David:  Yeah!  You see; I have always had an interest in history and when you travel as much as I do, you get to see the world in a different light!

Jeff looks stunned

Jeff:  I wonder if I have been wrong about the students as well.

David:  You’re not god you know!

Jeff: That fact becomes more and more evident each day I live.

David:  This has nothing to do with the students, has it?

Jeff:  Your perception of the situation is stunning, how did you know?

David:  You think you’re the only one who questioned himself?  Do you think that I haven’t questioned the career I chose?  The woman I married?

Jeff:  I always thought that you loved your life!

David:  I did!  But I’m getting older.  I sometimes feel like just disappearing.

Jeff:  Why?  You have everything a man could want.

David:  Everything?  Without change, a man becomes stagnant and eventually dies.  The sleeper must awaken!

Jeff looks at David stunned

Jeff:  That quote was from Dune!  Are you telling me that you read books? 

David:  this may come as a shock to you, but a footballer has a lot of free time.

Jeff:  I know that!

David:  Well; I like to read and I’m not the only one who likes to read.  Other footballers do as well.

Jeff:  Are you serious?

David:  It takes our minds off of trying to get laid.  When you’re married, you tend to find other pursuits.

Jeff:  I never thought of that before.  I’m beginning to like you as a person, rather than the dumb interpretation that is portrayed on the television.

David:  I chose football because I’m good at it; not because there weren’t any other careers that I could have chosen.

Jeff:  Like your self; I’m absorbed in my career and rarely take much time to look at the world.

David:  Maybe you should!  The world doesn’t care about you or me!  It just exists.  The young of today are just as stupid as the young or your generation and it is likely that the next generation will be just as stupid.

Jeff:  Why do you say that?

David:  Each generation believes that they know more than the previous generation.

Jeff:  Go on!

David:  They think that there parents don’t know what they’re talking about.

Jeff:  That is a trait that has blighted history.

David:  They think that they parents don’t know what it’s like to be young; even though they were young themselves.

Jeff:  Are you sure you were meant to be a footballer?

David:  What do you mean?

Jeff:  You have to ability and the understanding to make a great professor!

David:  Maybe! But I couldn’t handle the crap wage that you’re paid!

Jeff starts to laugh

Jeff:  You’re probably right; but I digress.  Let’s get back to what you were saying before I rudely interrupted you.

David:  Oh yeah!  Each generation never learns from the previous one, until they’re too old.  They then realise that their parents actually were trying to help them.  But, by then, they have had children of their own and the cycle started again.

Jeff:  You are wise beyond your years!

David:  Really?

Jeff:  Yes you are!  I only learnt what you know late in my life and it depresses me to think how much of my life was wasted.

David: Your life wasn’t wasted!

Jeff:  What do you mean?

David:  You have taught for a long time and have crafted this generation of politicians, artists, musicians, journalists and many other professions that you probably thought never would be influenced by you.

Jeff raises one eye brow

Jeff:  Now you are being naive!

David:  What do you mean?

Jeff:  Politicians usually come from only a handful of schools.

David:  Maybe!

Jeff:  The chances of someone like me influencing the Prime Minister is very unlikely

David:  Maybe!  But, it is possible

Jeff:  It is possible that the cow jumped over the moon, but I have yet to hear a theory that would make sense.

David:  Maybe; but, like I said; it is possible

Jeff: you’re right I guess.  Nothing is impossible.

Jeff start to laugh

David:  What’s so funny?

Jeff:  Now I remember where I’ve seen you before!

David:  Err?

Jeff:  Do you remember that Adidas football advert?

David:  Yeah…   I was in them.

Jeff:  Well…  There was a saying in that advert.

David:  yeah, I know!  Impossible is nothing

The building starts to rattle, (make noise) the lights go out and the curtains close

When the lights go back on after an intermission, the stage looks different

Part 2

The curtains open with a wall at the back damaged

Jeff: (shouts) What the hell just happened?

David:  I don’t know!

Pause

David:  I’ll go and see if I can find out what happened

David walks to the edge of the stage on the left and then after a minute returns

David:  I think there’s been a cave in.

Jeff:  I’ll try the other door.

Jeff walks to the other door and returns back

Jeff:  The other door is stuck.  I don’t need this!

David:  What wrong?

Jeff:  I’m claustrophobic

David:  Try to take you mind off of the situation.  Can’t you think of anything?

Jeff walks into the middle of the stage and starts to sing ‘Robbie Williams’  ‘Feel’

Jeff: (sings) I just want to feel… reel love until the home that I live in…  I’ve got too much life… running through my veins… going to waste..

David:  Isn’t that Robbie Williams?

Jeff:  Yes, you’re right

David:  I’m surprised that you would like him.

David:  I would have thought that you would like Tchaikovsky, Beethoven and Vivendi.

Jeff:  Err… I think you mean Verdi.

David:  Yeah… whatever

Jeff:  I may be old but I’m not dead.

David:  What do you mean?

Jeff:  Just because I’m old doesn’t mean that I can only like old music

David:  True!

Jeff:  As well as enjoying the music from the likes of Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles, I also like Lady Gaga and Puff Pastry

Pause

David:  Err; I think you mean Puff Daddy.

Jeff:  Really?  I did think it was strange that a rapper would use a kind of dough used on the top of pies as his name.

David:  You live and learn

Jeff: Why do rappers go on about garden utensils?

David: garden utensil?

Jeff:  They keep talking about all their hoes

David:  I don’t think they’re talking about garden utensils

David:  Americans say hoes, we say whores.

Jeff starts to laugh

David:  Why did you get involved into history?

Jeff:  Have you heard of Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo?

David:  Have I?  My kids love them.

Jeff:  Your children like the great renaissance painters?

David:  No!  They love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Both of them start to laugh

David:  Are you married?

Jeff:  No!

David:  Have you got a girlfriend?

Jeff: No!

David:  Why’s that?  You look like a handsome man and I’m sure the girls must have loved you when you were young.

Jeff: (laughing) Women have never liked me.  They would look at me like I’m either going to jump them or am just a weirdo.

David:  How do you know that?

Jeff:  I don’t know and I never will know that.

David:  Did you ever try to talk to them?

Jeff:  Did on a few occasions.

David: What happened?

Jeff:  They were self obsessed and were more interested in someone else, something else; basically; anyone but me.

David:  So you gave up because you were rejected a few times?

Jeff:  I just lost interest in women full stop!

David:  I think you gave up too easily!

Jeff:  A scientist once said and I’ll paraphrase; if you repeated a test 100 times and it failed, it is insanity to believe that repeating the test another 100 times will give you a different outcome.

David: So you did give up then?

Jeff:  NO!  I got a life and have been living that life ever since.

David:  A life without women must be really boring.

Jeff:  If you limit yourself to think in that manner, then your life will be boring.

David:  What do you mean?

Jeff:  You had football before you had women, didn’t you?

David: But I only got into football to get laid.

Jeff:  Now that you have achieved you goals, what now?

David slumps down to the ground

David:  I don’t know.  I only know football and my family and I’ve done both of them

Jeff:  It sounds as if the question you posed to me earlier was meant for yourself.

David:  I was just really trying to find out why you chose to be by yourself.

Jeff:  I analysed the situation when I was younger and realised that it would never work

David:  What do you mean?

Jeff:  When you have been dating for a while, she/he expects to move in and become a couple right?

David:  Go on.

Jeff:  I imagined that after six months of her living in my flat, because there’s no way in hell I’m living in hers.

David:  Is there a point to this?

Jeff: Yes!

David:  Can you get to it then?

Jeff:  The point is that after six month I would probably snap.

David: Why’s that?

Jeff:  I probably would tell her, “You’re here everyday!  Why can’t you just piss off home?  I’m sick of the sight of you!”

David:  I see!  You like your own company.

Jeff: And that is not compatible with someone who seeks attention, uses your stuff but moans when you do the same.

David:  Not all women are like that you know!

Jeff: And not all men are arseholes; I’m not stupid, I hope you know!

David:  I never said that you were stupid.  I’m just saying that you gave up too easily.

Jeff:  A man sees his future and grasps it with both hands.  The truth of the matter is that I’m not compatible with women.

David:  Are you sure?  You’re beginning to sound like one yourself.

They both laugh

Jeff:  You’re right, I guess.

David:  I’m just saying that you shouldn’t give up.

Jeff:  I’m too old to be chasing women.

David:  Have you ever thought about men?

Jeff: (pause) Briefly, but I don’t really like men much.  Unless it was Jason Priestly from Beverly Hills 90210 and there’s not much of that. (starts to laugh)

David:  Dude!  I’m old enough to have watched Beverly Hills 90210 and I know what you mean.  The guy was cool!

Jeff:  Let’s get off the man love subject, it’s a little creepy.

David:  Well at least you’re not one of these homofrobes.

Jeff:  I think you mean homophobes; but you’re right.

David:  I feel sorry for them sometimes.

A shout from the side of the stage calls out.  “Is anyone in here?”

David and Jeff:  Yes there is

Unidentified voice:  Is anyone hurt?

Jeff:  No one is hurt.  There are two people in the room.  What happened?

Unidentified voice:  The roof collapsed

David:  How did that happen?

Unidentified voice:  We don’t know yet, but we will have you out of there in a few minutes.

A door opens up, or to be more precise; the sound of a door opening can be heard on stage.

Jeff:  It looks like we will be going our separate ways

David:  I guess so.  Listen!  How about you give me your number and we could hook up in the future.

Jeff: that would be nice.  A change is as good as a rest and I have been inundated with work recently.

David:  I know what you mean

The two men shake hands and leave the stage via the entrance where the sound came from.

The End!